larger than life
by honkblarg
Summary: three crazy lemming are partying but they dont know whats coming
1. three friends

Naughty lemmings 

Disclaimer I do not own lemmings or any of this shit that I wrote about.

There was a lemming, his name was Bill. There is a special way he died. It all started when his friend,

Crunchbutt, was eating a hamburger. Bill screamed

"What the fuck Ass hole!!! Thats my hamburger!"

"It ain't yours any more bioch! Did this come with a Dr. dew?" yelled Crunchbutt.

Grimly Bill said "No."

At this time they both started to think of how they can screw each other over today. After moments of silence Bill finally said

"Lets go to the lemming trap. I heard a dumb ass was going to go for the cheese."

"O.K." replied Crunchbutt.

As they were heading to the trap they heard distant screams.

"lets go check out who's screaming. If we save her we might get laid." said crunchbutt.

"I'm not going to do a threesome with you and a slut. Let's go anyway." said Bill.

As they walk they see a chick playing a game on her phone. they think to themselves, WTF.

The weird chick screamed "My dumb ass snake bit its own fucking tail."

crunchbutt said " It's O.K., we know people that can help."

She finally notices them when he said that. She turned to them and said

"Damn it I lost. That amounts to eight days of masturbation. My name is Kira will you masturbate with me."

"If we do will we have to masturbate seeing swords or what." said Crunchbutt.

"We can have a threesome if you like." said Kira.

"FUCK NO!" said Bill.

"Fine. let's just see if the dumb ass is going to jump in the trap." said Kira.

"How did you know about that." Crunchbutt said curiously.

"It's on that bill board." replied Kira.

"O.K." they said together.

As they were walking, they came to a busy road. Cars were just going everywhere really fast.

Bill asking, "before I die, where do you work?... ... ... ... ... Kira. Kira ... ... ... KIRA."

"I work as a hoe. happy now, you made me lose." yelled Kira.

They waited for an opening, and ran like hell. they could see the bar on the other side. They hear splat, but don't turn to see who it was.

They made it to the to the other side. At least two of them do. they see a pile of Crunchbutt on the road.

Kira says,"wanna make love on his dead body. wait do you have protection."

(Bill says) "who needs condoms."

thats when crunchbutt says, "RETARD!"

(Bill says) "hurry up and die prick."

(Crunchbutt)"O.K.. hurrg-blah


	2. the almighty poker

**The almighty poker**

disclaime: once again I do not own this shit.

_We left of when our friend crunchbutt has just died, and bill and kira were making love on crunchbutt's dead body._

"damn it" said bill

"what's wrong you just fucked me." said Kira

"somthing just poked the hell out of my back" said bill.

Still rubbing his back,"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" yelled Bill.

Over the bar there was a arrow, you can see the shinney aura around it. It was like you are seeing god in real life. As you look at this you think what the hell. Thats only a normal lemming though, all Bill was thinking was, thats the fucker that poked me. Kira wa thinking I bet that thing could put it all out in the bedroom.

The arrow got a giant grin on his face and said "I will kill you where you stand."

Then explosions started to come from the arrow. Bill looks over to Kira to find her playing on her cell phone.

Bill yelled "are you crazy!"

All of the sudden a lemming comes flipping in front of Bill and Kira.

The lemming was dressed in all black, with a sword on his hip, an awsome looking claw attached to his hip. On the other hip there was a grapple hook. On the back of this lemmings shirt there was a blood red dragon. All along his arm there were knives. The knives were sticking out like barbs.

Retrieving two knives he moves with lightning fast reflexes. Quickly he lunges tward the arrow thrashing at it mindlessly. The arrow stabs the guy in the arm. You can hear the flesh tear as the lemming tries to get closer thus driving the arrow deep inside him.

"arrg!" the lemming screams,

as the arrow goes through his arm and into his chest. Thats when he get close enough, the lemming draws his sword, and rips the arrow a new one. The arrow withdraws and flies away. The lemming following it slowly.

Bill asks "why did you save us?"

the lemming says "I wanna be a ninja.I figure if you want to be the best you have to beat the best."

Then he quickly flees.

After many minutes of silence Kira says,

"**FUCK YEAH NEW HIGH SCORE!**"


End file.
